Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Head Trauma, Part One

Hello, world. It's been a few days since my last post, but boy oh boy do I have a story for you.

It started this past Friday as I was getting ready to board the bus and go to school. About five minutes prior, I had been smoking a cigarette, since I just turned eighteen and the novelty seemed so appealing. Besides, smoking is cool, dude. *slicks back his 1950's greaser hair*

Stupid? Very.

Anyway, the cigarette was a Marlboro Red 100, my absolute favorite. I had just recently started "really" smoking; before it had usually been just whenever I happened to be with a buddy who was lighting up. As a new smoker, the effect of the nicotine on my body and the fact that it totally took away my ability to maintain a sense of balance was, in a few words, fucking heavy. On top of that, anybody who's ever smoked a Red 100 knows it's a damn strong cigarette.

As I was getting onto the bus, my depth perception failed me and I fell backwards. Luckily, the back of my head absorbed most of the impact, sparing the important parts like my face, hands, or dick. *slurs*

From what I've been told, (I blacked out and can't remember most of this little episode) I hit the sidewalk, had what looked like a seizure, and then tried to get up on my own. I do remember a ten-second period where I was stumbling around and almost falling over, panicking because, for some reason, I had temporarily lost my eyesight. I'm not sure if that was due to the skull-on-cement smackdown, but it was some scary shit folks.

They eventually got me onto the bus, and we waited for the EMS to arrive. A couple of middle-aged guys who looked like they hated their jobs came onto the bus, and escorted me to the ambulance parked behind it. Once aboard, one of the men asked me what day it was. Clutching my Niagara-Falls-Bleeding-Head-Wound and trying not to drool too much, I replied, "Tuesday?".

You guessed it. Wrong.

After asking me if I was a diabetic, and pricking my goddamn finger anyway despite the fact that I told them I wasn't, I was strapped down onto the gurney like some kind of crazed asylum escapee.

After a twenty-minute road trip, we arrived at the hospital. This part of the story I'll save for another post, since it involves some really funny shit that I'd love to go into detail with, but don't have the time for right this minute. (I'm in study hall for another ten minutes or so)

There you have it, folks. That's the story of how I figured out that cement > my head. Since the incident occurred, I've had some strange side effects too. For instance, my short term memory is shot to hell, I experienced a very vivid hallucination upon waking up from a nap the other day, and sometimes stationary objects appear to be swaying back and forth. (The computer I'm sitting at is demonstrating this to me as I type these words) Good stuff.

Well, until next time world...enjoy. 

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