Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Head Trauma, Part One

Hello, world. It's been a few days since my last post, but boy oh boy do I have a story for you.

It started this past Friday as I was getting ready to board the bus and go to school. About five minutes prior, I had been smoking a cigarette, since I just turned eighteen and the novelty seemed so appealing. Besides, smoking is cool, dude. *slicks back his 1950's greaser hair*

Stupid? Very.

Anyway, the cigarette was a Marlboro Red 100, my absolute favorite. I had just recently started "really" smoking; before it had usually been just whenever I happened to be with a buddy who was lighting up. As a new smoker, the effect of the nicotine on my body and the fact that it totally took away my ability to maintain a sense of balance was, in a few words, fucking heavy. On top of that, anybody who's ever smoked a Red 100 knows it's a damn strong cigarette.

As I was getting onto the bus, my depth perception failed me and I fell backwards. Luckily, the back of my head absorbed most of the impact, sparing the important parts like my face, hands, or dick. *slurs*

From what I've been told, (I blacked out and can't remember most of this little episode) I hit the sidewalk, had what looked like a seizure, and then tried to get up on my own. I do remember a ten-second period where I was stumbling around and almost falling over, panicking because, for some reason, I had temporarily lost my eyesight. I'm not sure if that was due to the skull-on-cement smackdown, but it was some scary shit folks.

They eventually got me onto the bus, and we waited for the EMS to arrive. A couple of middle-aged guys who looked like they hated their jobs came onto the bus, and escorted me to the ambulance parked behind it. Once aboard, one of the men asked me what day it was. Clutching my Niagara-Falls-Bleeding-Head-Wound and trying not to drool too much, I replied, "Tuesday?".

You guessed it. Wrong.

After asking me if I was a diabetic, and pricking my goddamn finger anyway despite the fact that I told them I wasn't, I was strapped down onto the gurney like some kind of crazed asylum escapee.

After a twenty-minute road trip, we arrived at the hospital. This part of the story I'll save for another post, since it involves some really funny shit that I'd love to go into detail with, but don't have the time for right this minute. (I'm in study hall for another ten minutes or so)

There you have it, folks. That's the story of how I figured out that cement > my head. Since the incident occurred, I've had some strange side effects too. For instance, my short term memory is shot to hell, I experienced a very vivid hallucination upon waking up from a nap the other day, and sometimes stationary objects appear to be swaying back and forth. (The computer I'm sitting at is demonstrating this to me as I type these words) Good stuff.

Well, until next time world...enjoy. 

Monday, October 18, 2010

Waning With No Chance of Waxing

"As daylight wanes, through window panes I glimpse a world I'll never really see. The curtains close, God only knows that it's a life I'll never lead."

A bit of something I suppose. I seem to be waning, with no hope of waxing.

Until next time, world...enjoy.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Today I Had Cereal, But No Goddamned Milk

Good afternoon, world. Its me again, your least favorite neurotic passenger in the Great Big Taxi Cab To Hell. It's been a strange day.

I decided recently that my life is comparable to shuffling through one of those gimmicky, $5-a-ticket haunted houses while under heavy sedation. And I do mean heavy. We're talking high-grade beaver tranquilizer folks. Military grade.

Gah. What the fuck am I even talking about? I think this is the result of way too much nicotine intake. Ah, the joys of just turning eighteen and surmising that just because you CAN buy cigarettes, you should. I feel like a decrepit piece of shit, and it's in the best possible way. Which is to say, the worst possible way if you're looking at the situation through a groovy, rainbow colored kaleidoscope.

But who uses kaleidoscopes anymore anyway? I'm pretty sure those died off in the middle of the decade prior, something like 2004 or 2005.

If you're still reading this I have to commend you. I'm not even writing right now; this is just my brain experiencing explosive diarrhea. The mental refuse is just so happening to splatter onto the keyboard.

In other news...

On an interesting side note, I experienced something strangely awesome the other day whilst sitting in a car with Ex-Girlfriend on the way to Sandusky.

The radio had been playing the song "Californication" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers, and the single earbud from my iPod was blasting Chopin's "Funeral March". That unusual juxtaposition was, in a word, incredible. I'd recommend it to anyone with enough free time to actually try. (read: my readers)

Well, until next time world...enjoy.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Dark World in Which I Dwell

It's six o'clock A.M., and I need to take a walk.

I leave the lights of my house and head in the direction that my brain says to, this naturally being the playground near my neighborhood. The wet asphalt beneath my boots glimmers like so many useless diamonds, each a fake and flimsy memory of the past year. Metaphors, metaphors. I drown in a sea of them; it's my natural habitat.

The world is black, and the sky is the color of an aging bruise. Its a sad solace to know that I'm the only creature of my sort wandering those streets, endlessly searching, never seeking, and never finding anything.

The houses all scream the same lesson at my brain: I will never be a part of this. I will never sit with my family in front of the television and talk to my kids about what they've got planned for the day. I will never kiss my wife goodbye as we both head off to work. I am condemned to see these things from the outside.

I am condemned to walk alone, more or less, until I find a place that suits my soul. Some dark hole, I'm sure.

Until the next time wold, enjoy.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Buy the ticket, take the ride

Good evening, world. you smell that?


Hardly ever do I have a chance to look back on a full, 24-hour day of my life, and think to myself "Damn, dude. You really nailed that one."

Today was different.

I started by getting the number of a little Junior sweetheart from my math class, which painted a smile on my face that was certain not to wear off until at LEAST two hours later. After that, the feel-good snowballed. It was a damn good day.

Why then, do I have this ominous feeling like tomorrow will rip me a new one?

Call it superstition, or being used to "when it rains it pours", but I get a bad vibe whenever things go as smoothly as they have today. My schedule isn't even that frightening for tomorrow, I lay on my ass all day until around 5:30 PM when I'm booked for a birthday dinner with Mom and Ex-Girlfriend, followed up by an all-night, two-man party with my good friend and associate who we will refer to as Sir Knight. (He is, coincidentally, the President of our class I mentioned in a previous rant)

Let's hope I'm just being a hopeless retard about this, and I shouldn't be so afraid of a few good developments. Until next time world, enjoy.