Monday, April 30, 2012

Waiting For

Hello world, once again. The following is a little bit of my latest. I do hope you like it.


There is a passion born bloody from his loneliness, a terrible confusion. It amplifies light footsteps on wet pavement in the darkest hours just before dawn, it creates a madness that is both beautiful and intolerable. It feeds slowly, whispers quickly, it is the thing beneath the bed. Having never seen it, he might not know it if not for the hollow cold it spills into his veins. It's profound, really, the way it makes his head spin and his heart collapse. It brings to mind severed links, burned bridges, old lovers.

He sees through sick eyes, a recovered addict who lives in the constant mentality of the relapsed. Any day now could be the day, the one that kills the rest of him. More and more he finds himself hoping for that day to come, when he might finally stop caring and get on with the business of dying. He's spent so long staring into Hell.

At this junction he finds himself utterly alone. Every time he tries to live up to the expectations of the others, it feels as though he's telling an intricate and bitter lie. He was never meant for this place; he was either born hundreds of years too late or thousands of years too soon.

The midnights spent hallucinating in gutters and empty streets. The phantom sigh of pre-dawn wind that blows Dixie cups and crushed cigarette packs across the cracked tarmac of an ancient and sterile gas station parking lot. The silhouette of the cold moon in the Autumn sky that dances with the sweet nostalgic smell of falling leaves, the knowledge that knowing isn't enough. He wrestles with these things, the way a sinful and bitter old man might wrestle with Death in the last hours of his life. But Death is the welcome stranger, isn't he? Death in all his the pill, and the bottle, and the bullet. The distant old friend that stops by from time to time just to tell you he'll be back again soon.


Well, that's about all I've gotten down at this point. With the way this is coming together, it might just be the next part of "The Last Thoughts of a Man On Fire", although I guess it's still too early to tell for sure. As always, any feedback is appreciated.

Until the next time, world...enjoy.

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