Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Trouble I Have With Anything

Good morning, world. It's me, your favorite neurotic blogger.



Yes, I remember the restraining order you filed.

No, I'm pretty sure it was thirty feet and seven inches.

Ten?

...

Ten. Hm.

 Well regardless, we're here now aren't we? Together again at last, just you and I in the dark shadowy comfort of this blog. Yes, that's right. Relax. Take off your jacket. Would you like some tea? We only have lemongrass, but I can give it a little kicker if you'd prefer.

No! Not that kind of kicker! Especially since you obviously knew exactly what I was talking about...

So, friend...best friend...soul-mate. How's your tea?

Feels good right? The tea, of course. Nothing in the tea. No hidden drugs or sedatives. I definitely didn't steal high-powered beaver tranquilizers from the Cleveland Zoo and lace your drink with them. Here, friend. Special friend. Take this marker. We're going to play connect the birthmarks!





Until next time, world...enjoy.

1 comment:

  1. You are insane piece of man, sir....
    But I'm not saying that bothers me one bit.
    ;)
    As for the tea, it was wonderful... The tranquilizers could have been a bit more prominent, however. It needs that extra kick.
    Oh yes, I almost forgot...
    I love you <3

    ReplyDelete